“So even if the hot loneliness is there, and for 1.6 seconds we sit with that restlessness when yesterday we couldn’t sit for even one, that’s the journey of the warrior.” -Pema Chodron
I recently came across this quote in many different instances. I took this as a sign the universe wanted me to learn its deeper meaning. At first, it puzzled me. Hot loneliness? What the hell? But, as I sat with the words and let it really resonate with my soul, I realized I am currently on the journey of the warrior.
Everyone experiences pain and struggle in their lives. However, we can go years and years without really healing from it. Our hot loneliness is the pain we try so hard to ignore, yet the universe keeps throwing our way. It is only when we choose to sit with this pain and dive head first into our demons that we enter the journey of the warrior. You want to conquer your pain? Feel it. Embrace it. Let it live in the core of your being. Then, give it wings. Set it free. And, fly.
The secret to this freedom is surrender. When we choose to surrender to a power higher than ourselves, we bring the spiritual unknown part of us back into existence. An entire part of you resurrects during this surrender. I like to refer to it as your fear soul center. This center creates those nasty thoughts that ruminate on a continuous loop in your mind. This center feeds off your pain. It wants you to stay hidden in the darkness and see your life through a sense of lack. Your fear soul center does everything it possibly can to keep you from ever sitting with your hot loneliness. Rather, it gives you constant reminders this wound is still very much alive. This is your ego. Say hi.
However, when you choose to live through what I call, your love soul center, you consciously shift every perspective, thought, and expectation. You suddenly begin to heal your hot loneliness. Your willingness to surrender to a power higher than your own, allows abundance to enter into your life. When we live through our love soul center, we feel a never ending stream of bliss, peace, and healing. This is your inner guide. Say hi.
We are all born with a sense of undeniable happiness and serenity. Yet, somewhere in the early years of life, childhood traumas occur. These altering experiences allow our fear soul center to combat love. Therefore, we perceive our entire life through that fear based trauma.
Let’s say someone broke your heart, and you are now left with a painful sense of unworthiness. Well, news flash, that unworthiness was created long before that person cheated or left you or whatever. Your mind was conditioned at some point in your childhood that you were not worthy. Now, it could have been something as small as a cute boy calling you four eyes in your new glasses. But, that rejection of love made you reject your inner love. So, fast forward to that person hurting you, or you losing that dream job, all of those negative insecurities resurface. Aka, the hot loneliness you have refused to sit with your entire life. And, it will just continue showing up with different masks, and trust me, it gets pretty annoying.
BUT, IT IS TIME TO SIT WITH IT NOW! AM I RIGHT! And, you’re in for a treat. Loneliness is not loneliness at all. Your inner guide, that spiritual-peace-loving-calm-like-the-ocean voice never left you! You were just to busy living in fear to hear their wisdom.
So do you want to live a life constantly on the run from your wounds because you are too afraid to sit with the uncomfortable and sometimes painful truth of what lies beneath them?
Or are you going to choose right now to surrender and begin the journey of the warrior?
Think of it like this. Love lives in our pure and kind hearted intentions driven by our inner guides, while fear lives in the illusions and pain created by the darkness of our egos.
So many of us have chosen fear over love. I’m one of them. As a society, we have lost the sense that there is a high power that guides us through our life journey. In a world where racism, sexism, bullying and terrorism (just to name a few) seem to be the norm, it is our responsibility to become the endless voice of love. If more people decided to turn inward to love, then peace will overcome the globe. Happiness, good vibes, all that inner peace stuff is contagious. And, guess where it starts. That’s right, it starts with you sitting down and facing that no-good-I-hate-the-world-this-sucks-painful-af hot loneliness right now. Because, when you heal yourself, you heal the world you live in.
Wouldn’t it be wonderful when someone asks, “Why are you so happy?”
And, you can say, “I chose to see love.”