I put off writing about forgiveness for a long time. It is something I have struggled to accept in my life. I’ll admit, I have lived in constant victimhood, thinking, “why did this happen to me?” I questioned every single thing that would go wrong. I was completely, one hundred percent against forgiving anyone and anything that has happened to me. I kept thinking, “they don’t deserve my forgiveness.” I cursed them, I cursed the universe, and I cursed myself. Then, I realized that my resentment had no affect on them. My resentment was simply keeping me connected to what happened, making me relive the pain over and over again. It wasn’t until I chose to forgive, that I set myself free. That the invisible chain keeping me tied to the past finally broke. And, I realized the most important person I had to forgive was myself.
Forgiveness is like giving your pain wings and enabling it to fly. It is not for anyone, but you. Now, I know what you are thinking, some of us have gone through immense trauma and hardship that forgiveness seems like an impossible out-of-mind idea. A while ago, I would have totally agreed with you. The darkness makes you believe that you will never get over someone or something that has happened to you. Darkness makes you believe that there is no serenity, that you will never find peace again. But, here’s the thing about forgiveness. It is the light. It is not for the person who broke your heart or the drunk driver who ran the red light. It does undo what has already been done. It does not make by any means what happened okay. All it does is set you free. And, on this journey to inner peace, all we really want is freedom.
I like to think of forgiveness like this. We are all loving creatures by nature. We are born in an image of love. When we have resentment in our hearts, we are rejecting our true essence. The embodiment of love. We have once again chosen fear. Now, we might feel justified in our resentment towards other people. I mean don’t get me wrong, war, terrorism, racism, sexism, bullying, are all evils of the world. And, are no where near acceptable. But, have you ever stopped to think about how much pain has to be present inside the people who hurt others. They live so deeply in fear that it is all they know. However, what they really want is love. THAT IS WHAT PAIN IS. Pain is cry for love. When someone wrongs you, it is not a representation of you, it is a representation of the pain that lives inside of them. It is a cry for help. But, our own childhood wounds and discomfort make us believe that something is wrong with us. That we deserve the pain others are inflicting and this is just how life is. But, when you realize their actions are a cry for love, you release your victimhood and enable true healing to set in. That person did not hurt you because they wanted to, or it genuinely made them feel better on the inside. They have become so removed from love that they do not know anything else. And, when you forgive, you free yourself of the invisible bondage their pain has placed around you.
PAIN IS THE TRANSFER OF FEAR FROM ONE PERSON TO ANOTHER. And, the cycle of fear based ego minded people continues. Pain and suffering continues. Sadness and despair continues. But, what if we can stop this chain reaction? It starts with you.
What do you think would happen if we chose to pass on love? If you decided today to send the person who hurt you love and not resentment? You automatically regain the love that is inside of you. You will feel a whole weight lift off your shoulders because you chose to return to your true essence. Love. The moment we are willing to forgive, we send healing to those who are unable to remember theirs. Forgiveness does not let the people who hurt you off the hook. IT DOES NOT MAKE WHAT THEY DID OKAY. What I am saying is this. When someone or something causes you pain, you can live with that pain for the rest of your life. That is death row. That is imprisonment beyond the bars. All of that pain and anger builds inside of you, and you forget love. Just like the person who caused you pain to begin with, your inner turmoil becomes an outward cry for help. A cry for love. And, without you realizing it, you turn into someone causing others pain. That is when you are left with nothing, but the choice to forgive yourself. THAT IS WHY WE MUST FORGIVE OTHERS. WE MUST FREE OURSELVES TO BREAK THE CHAINS.
When you are stuck refusing to forgive, say this, ” I choose to see the other person as myself.” Everyone has pain inside of them. We all fight battles we don’t talk about. And, when we see the other person as ourselves, as someone else who struggles, as someone else who is crying out for love, we return to oneness. We realize that their actions portray their innate and desperate need for love. JUST LIKE OURS. We all want relief from the pain, we want love. And, it starts with forgiveness.
Right now, you are the light. You are the light the darkness longs for, and when you forgive, you send out rays of light, relighting the world.
We become one step closer to healing a dying race when we decide to pass on love. When we choose to forgive, we pass on love. When we send out healing to those who cause pain, we pass on love. We become the light. SO BE THE LIGHT.
Be the light the ones in darkness need to follow to find love again.
One of my favorite quotes is this.
“Never wish them pain. That’s not who you are. If they caused you pain, they must have pain inside. Wish them healing. That’s what they need.”- Najwa Zebian